Wormtail the Magnificent
by Peggi J. Crawford
Summary: To everyone else, Peter Pettigrew was just a simple-minded, uninteresting dope who did nothing but agree with whoever was seemingly in charge. No real talent, no real intelligence, no real anything. But the reality was, he was far more clever than his friends, fellow students, or professors would ever really know! Add to that, he was the master prankster!


Set in the Marauder's era, this is a comedy about the seemingly innocent, seemingly nothing-at-all Wormtail! I've exaggerated some of the personalities a bit, but this is mostly to be from Peter's point of view anyway, so it goes well with the story! I hope you enjoy!

Also, I do not own anything except the idea for this, and decided to put it down in words after I was encouraged to do so by a friend. If I did own the rights to Harry Potter, I'd be rich and writing this from something other than the haunted laptop, which loves to turn itself off and on without my assistance, and occasionally decides to freeze up on me for no reason at all. I'd also have been too much of a fangirl to make the series worth reading/watching. So be thankful that I am only the writer of fanfiction, and not our beloved series!

* * *

It was just another bright, sunny day at Hogwarts. A Saturday, which made it all the more fantastic. The marauders were in the Clock Tower Courtyard, lazing about and coming up with new ways to make Snivellus miserable. Sirius discussed some cute girl in Ravenclaw he had been eyeing up since that morning, which was a different girl than the one the day before, and probably different than the one he'd go on about tomorrow. Remus was busy trying to calm James down, who was almost livid as he saw Severus walking from one part of the courtyard to the other, to get into another part of the school. Meanwhile, Peter Pettigrew sat off to the side, keeping himself quiet as usual. Inside of his head, though, things were not so quiet. He even had different voices he used in there, to come up with his fun ideas.

"So," voice one in his head started "what should we do today?" he gave this voice a bit of an Australian accent.

"I don't know," a second voice with an American southern accent spoke up "how about we go into the Potions lab and re-label all of the ingredients so the next class has a lot more fun with their assignments!"

Australian Peter nodded, or as much as the voice you give your thoughts _can_ nod, and Peter thought of a reason to leave.

"Friends," he announced, breaking apart all of their conversations which were going on at the same time, yet still directed at one another.

"Yes, Wormtail?" James asked in his typical high and mighty voice.

"I will be back, I have to use the bathroom."

The group blinked at him, and James furrowed his eyebrows a bit, "you use the loo an awful lot, Wormtail. Maybe you should get checked out."

"I'll think about that!" he replied, running off as though it were an emergency bathroom trip.

Being the quiet person that they mostly only needed around when something came up and they needed someone to agree with them, the group ignored his leave of absence and continued their conversations.

Australian Peter hummed the 'Pettigrew is on an Evil Mission' theme song, which luckily no one else could hear, or it would totally give him away. He pressed his back to the walls, darting in and out of corridors, trying to avoid being seen by anyone, teacher _or_ student. As he got closer to the Potions classroom the music became louder and faster, until finally he arrived at his destination, Australian Peter finishing off the theme song with a dramatic sequence.

He carefully opened the door, making sure that no one was inside despite there not being any classes at that particular moment. He poked his head inside, seeing that the coast was clear, and slowly crept in, closing the door quietly behind him. He inched his way over to the cabinet where he knew the supplies would be. He snaked his fingers around the handle and pulled, revealing his prize of many jars and phials and even some containers just filled with all sorts of fun things to play with!

He tapped his fingers together, the way that people tend to do when they plot their diabolical plots, and then gave a sinister laugh. Southern America accented Peter chastised him for being too loud and potentially ruining their plans, so he laughed much more quietly. He grabbed the first label from the Asphodel root and switched it with the Dried Nettles label. He switched Wormwood with Mandrake, and so forth. By the time he was done, no label was on its correct jar, phial or container, and he smiled, proud of his work.

He couldn't wait until the next class had to come in, and until Professor Slughorn realized what happened! Even better was his alibi. His friends had probably forgotten that he left, unless of course they happened to need him for something, at which point they'd remember he'd left for the loo, but for the most part, they never noticed when he would come or go. It was perfect, they were his alibi, and as long as they thought he was just their little sidekick who would help take sides when there was a debate of some sort, he could get away with _anything_!

Later on the next day, Professor Slughorn was becoming increasingly aggravated with his last potions class of the day. Even the students who typically excelled at potions making were ending up with liquids that melted through the cauldrons and through the desks, leaking onto the concrete floors, goo bubbling over, puffs of smoke everywhere, and very confused students. There was talk all over the school by dinner time, and the marauders were of course laughing about the whole thing, wondering who could've done it.

"Must've been someone brilliant!" James pointed out, taking a bite off of an ear of corn.

"I bet it had to be a teacher!" Sirius laughed, "maybe someone who is close to retiring and wanted to get some last kicks while they could!"

"I'd say it was Peeves if he were able to switch all the labels, maybe he convinced a student to do it!" Remus chimed in.

Peter just sat there, his usual dopey smile on his face, laughing to himself at the knowledge that he was the talk of the school and yet nobody would _ever_ think he was clever enough to pull it off.

"We are brilliant!" Australian Peter gloated.

Peter just nodded, seemingly at the conversation his 3 friends were having, while really just agreeing with himself.


End file.
